Thursday, January 18, 2007

You know you are in college when ...

You know you are in college when ....

1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early.”
2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.
3. Weekends start on Thursday.
4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.
7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.
8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.
9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.
10. You can't remember the last time you washed your car.
11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.
12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.
13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.
14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.
16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.
17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them... sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.
18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.
19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.
20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.
21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.
22. You go to Target or WalMart more than 3 times a week.
23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.
24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class... anything with caffeine will do.
25. Quarters are like gold.
26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.
27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc...
29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.
30. You ask people what YOU did last night.
31. Facebook becomes a part of your daily life – when friends say something funny, oh “that’s going on facebook.” When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.
32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.
33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
34. You sleep more in class than in your room
35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.
36. You've traveled with bags of dirty clothes.
37. You go home to do your laundry because you're too poor to pay the $2... or too lazy to go to a change machine.
38. You pay $100 for a book you don't read once, return it four months later, and get $7.
39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.
40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday's meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal - a safe bet for any meal.
41. You use words like "thus" (see #40).
42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don't feel like washing them.
43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.
44. It takes preparation... and 3 people... to take out your garbage.
45. Going to the library is a social event.
46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year... you know why.
47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.
49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.
50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going... technology fees? I think not.
51. Bicycles don't seem as lame as they did in high school.
52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class it was due in.
53. Girls: You've balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.
54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
55. You've written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $2.00 of gas.
56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.
57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.
58. Most of your T.A.s are foreign...what's the deal?
59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you'd never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.
62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.
63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.
64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in the movies.
65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.
66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
67. Two words: bike cops.
68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.
69. Old school Nintendo... and guitar hero... are pretty much the best things ever.
70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.
71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.
72. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.


Anonymous said...

GOSH. number 72 is perfect!!!!

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Anonymous said...

If you are someone who likes a good fight for a good cause, then as a college student you already know the employees of the Business office by name.

Since incompetence is common at most colleges, any student who gives a royal damn will have it out with them over something. It will most likely be financial aid handling which is usually very poor due to low iq people working there. But beyone that, there is ZERO accountability at colleges. You would be surprised at how many students have a less than desirable go at education because of their unpleasant dealings with staff members. And my several years in college, along with my big righteous mouth and willingness to bet it all have taught me a lot about the reality of bureaucracy at school. It works about the same way your friendly neighborhood utility company. If they fuck up a bill, or neglect to repair a blackout in a timely fashion, its A-okay. But try being late in paying your bill.

Anyway, the keyword is ACCOUNTABILITY. We need lots more of that one not only in college, but in many many places all around us.

There should be a new law that allows us to backslap a person in public for being an imbecile.

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south university said...

Really interesting. Most of the items in your list makes me "oh yeah" or "hahaha, we really usually do that." College is really where you have the most fun in lufe. You are free from too much responsibilities and too much work. You really get acquainted with yourself.

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